Highway to the Baby Zone: It's Almost Christmas!

Today is December 23rd, 2011....and Ronan is already 2 weeks and 5 days old! It's been a very long, but very short 19 days. I find myself wishing that time would slow down, yet I'm also looking forward to the day where I sleep for longer than 3 hour increments (and that's if I'm lucky). When I'm up late at night and into the wee hours of the morning, I just look at my beautiful boy's face and remember there will come a time - and I know it will come quickly - where I will miss these moments and miss holding this tiny precious baby in my arms all by myself in the middle of the night. It makes me extremely sad to know how fast this stage will pass us by; I just love him so much and love this sweet baby stage. Okay, I must stop talking about it before I bawl like a baby myself!

Recovery from major abdominal surgery and taking care of a newborn at the same time has had it's challenges, that's for sure! But I can't complain too much, I feel as though I have recovered well....however, that's not to say it didn't come with a lot of pain! Just this past Tuesday I was able to quit my painkillers altogether. I do need the max dose of Advil from time to time, but for the most part I feel good. I will spare the details, but there are a lot of things about giving birth and the recovery from it that no one tells you! Luckily, I did a LOT of research about pregnancy and recovery from birth prior to Ronan being born, but even then, the intensity of some of this took me by surprise. I can't say I was fully prepared for the c-section, because I felt my chances of needing one were fairly low. Boy, was I wrong!

I feel like Rob and I have settled into parenthood very well....quite naturally, which surprised me a bit. I would say it's like I don't remember a life before our sweet baby, but that's not it exactly. I certainly remember our life sans baby and fully recognize the major changes and adjustments we have made and will continue to make. But what I guess I mean is that, it's been easier to adjust than I expected, which is a great thing! Although, Rob did say something that was very true last night....he made the statement that taking care of a baby has taken sooo much more time than he expected. And it's true! It's an all consuming, all day long job. Rob had hoped to find time to go to the gym after work before coming home, but nope! He is on a gym hiatus like me....he's just too tired! And for me? Well, being on maternity leave is no vacation, that's for sure! I barely have any time between feedings and either try to squeeze in a quick nap, do a load of laundry, clean bottles and breast pump parts, or possibly get a quick shower...then it's time to feed and change a diaper all over again. The days absolutely FLY by, and that's the part I hate! I want to soak up and enjoy every delicious newborn moment. We've been taking a lot of pictures, let's just put it that way. And the camera just cannot fully capture the moment as well as my eyes can. I wish I had the ability to store away and remember every second; that's the part that makes my baby blues intensify and I just sit and cry when I think about it. Hormones are a you-know-what after birth!

One thing is for certain, no one can prepare you for how much and intensely you love your child from the second they are born - and the love grows everyday. Parents always say this to their children, but it's very much the truth! You just cannot fathom it until you have your own. It will definitely have you take a step back and realize just how much your own parents loved and still love you...and you immediately feel guilt for any grief you have ever given them, haha! So, to our parents - we thank you so much for the love you had for us as children and the love you still have as you continue to do so very much for us. We can now fully appreciate it more than ever as we look at our own child and know that we would do anything and everything we can for him. Oh - and we apologize for all the times we were ever huge jerks! We wish we could take those moments back! :)

Now let's talk about the important little dude! Ronan had his two week check up this week, and he is doing really well! He grew 1/8 of an inch, but he still has yet to gain back his birth weight as he is sitting at 8lbs. 11 oz. as of Wednesday. So, he has gained some weight back, but just not enough. Our pediatrician automatically suggested we offer a bottle of formula after every feed. This absolutely breaks my heart, because I never wanted to go there. I got home, thought about it, spoke to a friend and decided to call the pediatrician back for other options. The lactation consultant in the office gave me some suggestions, so for the last couple days I have been intently focusing on figuring out how to fatten him up more quickly. So, my work is really cut out for me now....if I'm not feeding, I'm pumping or bottle feeding the breast milk. I want this last chance to prove I can get his weight up without supplementing. My pediatrician thinks my problem is that I have 'skim' milk, since I do not have a supply problem. She says the avg calories per ounce of breast milk is 20. Some mothers have highly caloric milk at about 25 calories per ounce. She suspects mine is somewhere around 15 calories an ounce. She mentioned I could 'eat like a football player' and not gain weight with all the calories I'm burning. But, I haven't been dieting! However, sometimes hours will pass before I realize I haven't eaten....I get so busy! So, I'm focusing on stuffing my face, and fattening this boy up. Wish me luck - we have to go in for a weight check on Tuesday, she wants him to be back up to birth weight by then, or close to it - otherwise I will probably have to give in and fortify my breast milk with a bit of formula to add calories. This is not a road I want to go down!

Here are a few pictures taken within the last week or so. We took Ronan to see Santa last weekend. We aren't supposed to be taking him out in public for 6 weeks, but we didn't want him to miss out on Santa for his first Christmas (although we fully realize he had no idea what was going on, but he will be able to see the photo in the years to come). We went to the Santa at Neiman's downtown since it's not in a mall. We got there early and were in and out within an hour. We just kept his carseat fully covered and didn't get him out until it was our turn. At that point, Ronan was the hit of the show! Everyone in line was oohing and aahing over him - and can you blame them? We also went for a walk on Katy Trail last Saturday when the weather was beautiful...I HAD to get out of the house and was going stir crazy. The doc said we could take him on all the walks we want, so we took advantage! I also have take pictures of my post pregnancy body. As amazing as it was to watch my belly grow those nine months, I wanted to see the transformation back to my old self. Enjoy the pictures, and have a very Merry Christmas!!!

Ronan and Santa!